Funny how the author have mentioned celibate/celibacy in her steps on transforming their way when people will tell the story of their past, it totally struck me. I first encounter the word celibacy in Bo Sanchez interesting editorial column in Kerygma Magazine.

His vow to celibacy. He wasn’t married yet. I am separated and he’s being adorable (I find him one through his writings) was the subject of my imagery. In my mind, I also declared my oath to celibacy.

That’s why I was so wretched when I found out a year ago that he’s married with two kids. Kidding! Lol

Seriously, it’s been 10 years, since I decided to stay single again, and it’s like, I’ve been grieving for the lost of a relationship – now, I need to explain that it is not my relationship to that person that cause my grief but the word and true meaning of the “relationship” itself – all my life.

I spent a decade of celibacy rather than celebrating my freedom, and I know it’s not good because I just nailed myself to unhappiness. I utterly missed life.

Now, how can I talk about this topic? I’m a kind of not open with this one, but I also want to digress in my usual detachment.

I don’t have a social life outside the net, so it’s impossible for me to meet new friends. I don’t go out a lot, and most guys I met online seems not interested (and so do I – it’s hard to put meaning into friendship, it will just leave you nothing but yourself in the long run)

How about Dating Services? I tried to click the ad in one of my dreary post, I didn’t know why that post generated an online dating ads. I clicked it and I joined out of curiosity, but I didn’t engage myself to its online paid services, for I still have apprehension to this kind of thing.

I know, I need to take the extra step of signing up to one of these paid for online dating services, and I am still collecting some nerves to thrust myself to strangers.

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