Manilenya

Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

I had my wildest thought in last two days.  Okay, the first one was no different from what’s playing inside my mind everyday of my life, it’s like I think of that forever and I hate it.

Yesterday, I abondoned the horrifying idea that embraces me everytime I think about death.  Instead I say what if…what if I have only six months to live?  What will I do?

It’s my first time to ask myself…What will I do?

I saw this question once in Singapore’s bus stop, and there, the poster enumerated the list of considerably a life changing things to do of a sick person whose life will end in six month’s time.

I didn’t do my own list.  It’s hard to do a list when my hands are busy folding the laundry I took from the dryer.

Instead, I thought, I could write a book and my book is going to be about getting a man in my remaining six months.

Weird right?

The second one? I will tell you tomorrow.

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I procrastinate. I love to waste time or while my body is busy on doing something, my minds wander. I dream and I dream a dream.

Like when I caught with a heavy traffic, right inside the jeep together with sleepy commuters I saw myself riding in a motorbike. My hair was waving with the wind. No helmet, that is not cool.

I passed all the passenger jeep that were jammed in that busy fly over of Sta. Mesa and flew to the speed of the music that plays on my headset.

When I reached the campus, I don’t park my motorbike to the parking lot. I headed to the dome until I get to the 6th floor, where the College of Arts and Sciences do their class.

I know, I am going to be cool all over the 6th floor. I am the “the man.” Some will snort but most of the kids out there will glorify me.

I am “the man”, or “the woman”, or simply put…..what do you call that again?

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(Photos from Donabellas)

When I read this line, my father rolled up to my mind. He didn’t say he loves me or my two other sisters. He didn’t even show love to us.

The only emotion you could ever see on him is the irks when he sees something that he thought is displeasing and gladness if you do or give something good to him.

The only memory of how he became a father to me was when I saw him holding a piece of lumber when there was a big news that a group of bad guys who escaped the city jail and gone amuck in some schools in our city and my former school was one of them. He was carrying that lumber, and he was planning to get me from school.

I forgot all the candies and chocolate that he used to bring when he gets home after his long day of work. He usually brings 3 candy mint or one pretzels every night and a gallon of ice cream in every occasion.

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My first attempt to digital scrapping, do you think I’ve got talent?  After creating my bobang pinay blog, I’m up to make another blog which deals with digital scrapping and photography. I even bought a software that is highly recommended for digital scrapping.

I’ve been to Michael’s last week after my exam for licensing for new driver. Oh! Did I say new driver?

Yes of course, I’ve been very vocal that I really need to learn how to drive and I am glad that I made it to the exam in one taking.

So, I’ve been to Michael’s, the arts and crafts store and bought myself a cross stitch materials.  I started cross stitching again after more than a decade and it feels good to be surrounded by threads, cloth and needles again.

I saw some beading materials also and it seems inviting, since I am into wearing fashion jewelries it’s about time, I guess for me to learn the art of beading too.

Digital scrapping, photography, cross stitching and beadings, isn’t it obvious that I am tired of being “boba”.  Yeah, I want to know if I got talent too.

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Got tagged by Tin-tin but I refused to pass it, so no rules that needs to post.

1.At what age do/did you wish to marry?
– I got married at the age of 21, but I didn’t wish to get married that young. I don’t remember that I wish for anything. It just happened and apparently separation after 3 years had to happen too.  I spent my late teens with the undeserving guy, I think 5 years of living together in holocaust was enough.

2. What color do you like most?
-I used to wear dark colors when I was in my teens, but as I get older, I realized that light colors makes me look like human (hindi kasi ako tao e lol!). Okay it makes me look younger. I don’t have any particular color that I like. I don’t know what I like in everything actually.

3. If you can have a superpower, what would it be?
-The ability to read people’s mind<– if Tintin wants to acquire this, I want to have the ability to eliminate sadness and states of fears at least for myself. These emotional states impedes me to have a normal life.

4. If you can travel anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?
-I want to see more of the Philippines first and then the rest of Asia, India, Vietnam and Thailand in particular. Oh I love to go to South Korea and if I could peek on North Korea, why not.

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I am giving you my Sunday Unconscious Mutterings and if you want to join and enjoy this word game, you can always visit lunanina.

1. Month to month ::  January to December
2. Adjusted ::             fixed
3. Prank ::                  callers
4. Mop ::                    the floor
5. Clarity ::                clearness
6. Parenting ::           a child
7. Glenn ::                 Close (101 dalmatian and The Things You Know Just By Looking At Her – I so love the movie)
8. Fingerprint ::        NBI (National Bureau of Investigation)
9. Pineapple ::          Juice
10. Attorney ::           At Law

Now, because I really like the film Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At her, at this point you already realized that because I mentioned it three times in this post, I want to know from my few readers who loves to leave a comment here if what are the things that you can tell just by looking at me (that makes four) and of course by just reading my blogs posts.

(click this pic to see the bigger size)

It’s just a game, I don’t mind.  I assure you I won’t get hurt lol!

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This is tough for me. I recall somebody asked me “what do you want to do Nalen?” That simple question, I cannot answer.

It’s also goes with the questions of what I hate, and what I love most. It’s not that I am insensible with my own feelings, but I am totally drowned if that topic emerged in the discussion.

But this time I will try to list 5 of what I hate and love the most at this present because I got tagged by Ms. Leah.

There are things, ways, or people we can’t stand. There are also things, ways or people we can’t live without and would love to do over and over again or be with forever.

List down 5 things you hate and 5 things you love. Then, put the link or links of your blog or blogs in the list. Tag at least 5 people

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I don’t read that much. It just recently that I dutifully buy books, whenever I run off the nearest store that sells books or to Costco – they have a good deal of books, and I even spend a hundred every time my employer invites me to go with her.

I buy but I don’t read that much. One book took me more than a month or two, to be honest. But when I am reading, my heart is all in it -especially when I don’t understand the words, I need to look up for the meaning and its synonyms.

I also tend to find the likeness between me (mostly my situation) and the lead character of the book that I am reading. If I see one, it becomes my bible…I see the need to contemplate, and I end crying.

At times, while reading, I am likely to put down the author. Not that I feel like a writer and a good one, but I am just like that, and I end closing the pages.

Recently, I just finished reading Eat, Pray and Love, to which I know, few readers of this blog can recall that I post it a few times in my previous blog post.

That’s where I learn the Italian word Attraversiamo, which means “let us cross over”, or if you don’t want to walk on the same path again, let’s go to the other lane…Or street and move on. It’s all about moving on and I like the way I comprehend it.

I love the book, and I surely want to read it again (just let me finish my review for my driver’s license exam.)

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Sploggers are now pushing me to the limits. Almost every day, I get to see my post in various blogs that made by these crawlers/sploggers. They are all in my incoming links and they are even in my feedburner’s subscribers. I am just letting them because I know that nothing will happen and they will just continuously polluting the web with those nonsense copying and taking advantages of the backlink to get more links.

Isn’t it too much that you get content that easy and you get backlink at the same time?

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What type of parent am I? It is the second time that my friend Angel Cuala had invited me to join the Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival (PPBC) 6th Edition I ignored the first time due to time constraint.

I don’t want to break his heart the second time so here I go, scratching my head while thinking what type of parent, I am.

I am a mother of an eleven year old girl, she is spending her last five years without me around, that suggest that I don’t need to answer his first question if I am willing to leave my kid to a nanny while working abroad. If may I borrow my employer’s ex brother-in-law’s words in last night’s party, it is so funny that I am working as a nanny while my kid grow up with a cousin who’s taking care of her.

She actually has a nanny since 3 to 6 months old, I don’t remember exactly but my mother had to hire somebody who can help me taking care of her because I need to go back to school. She sleeps with my parents and somebody was washing her clothes and bottles, how could I get as lucky as that, you would believe so?

To make the long story short, we lived together as sisters but to her, I am still her Mama. I am still the disciplinarian; you know how grandparents spoiled their first grandchild of course, so I stand as a chisel to whatever harm my parents could bring by giving her the most of everything.

I am not strict though. Not as strict as my friend Angel who is not allowing her 12 year old daughter to have a Friendster account (peace friend! Lol!)

I remember my aunt once asked me what if Aya become an activist like me (yes, I was) when she reaches the age that she believes she understand everything already.

My answer, of course, was she can do, whatever she believes is right, and she does it. I am just here for the guidance, BUT she needs to finish her studies.

I want her to discover her potential and her flaws. Also, I want her to learn from her imperfections.
It is so good to know that she is growing different from me, at an early age she is showing cleverness. I can see the artistic side of her in her profile page, so why would I impede her to the things she likes doing online?

I can’t believe, she already created two Friendster account, one shows the child in her and one shows the artistic side of her. She loves creating some dig scrap. And I can’t believe also that I am started checking her friends comments and asking who’s this and who’s that. Oh well, that’s the mother in me.

I am a mother, no need to ask what kind of mother I am to her, but I am starting to ask myself what I am to her. I guess, we need to talk about it later.

Now I don’t sound just a disciplinarian mother but also a friend to my daughter.

Below are the three digi scraps that she made.

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