I blogged about how I was so upset when this child called me idiot because I kept her toys while she was still playing with it. I admit that I was kind of distressed during my first few months working with the youngest daughter of my employer, the new environment was so different for me that I don’t know how to muddle through when I am with the three siblings, especially when all of them are gushed with rage (lol! As in I am feeling I am in the middle of war whenever they are fighting).

However, working with them for almost a year now is a work in progress, although I sometimes still having a hard time with this little girl, I know I can sway with her moods now.

She’s not calling me idiot anymore. There is yelling and screaming now and then but she knows when to stop when I say stop.

She sometimes calls me mom, and then she remembers I am her nanny. She called me step mom once that jolted me from my sit. Of course, if you say step mom, there’s only one that comes to my mind and that is the wicked step mom in the fairy tales, so I asked her to call me God Mother instead.

“Why are you calling me step mom/God mom anyway?” I asked her.

“Because you are just like my mom, you are feeding me, bath me, taking care of me, and you love me. I love you God mom.”

Today, she was so bored, I came to her, and she shoo me away. When I lay down in the laundry room, it puts a smile on her face and decided to join me. I say that we had fun playing Frisbee outside, and I asked her to join me playing basketball, she refused at first but join me after when she saw that I was having fun.

When I saw her turn in her bubbles, I grabbed my point and shoot camera and got some pictures of her. She is always a stunning model to me.

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I said that I have to move my butt from laziness. I feel so sluggish making a post after three consecutive sponsored posts; it is so unlikely of me if you’re going to ask some friends/readers about this whole blog monetizing changes in my site. A blogger who once thought that making my blog a business will corrupt my mind (pardon my little brain exposing my then thought.) Even so, I have to accept now that I enjoy it, when I see my PayPal account accumulate some bucks from advertisers.

I enjoy everything about it, except of course if I know nothing about the given task, it screwed up my mind, it seems like playing a 2500 piece of puzzle, It’s challenging though. I have to read the product or the sites first before I do the task and finding myself typing a blah blah blah in the end. Still, I have to be thankful because the advertisers accept the posts.

My next? That’s a big problem, what do I know about a hen party? But still I have to do that assignment, especially now that I intended to buy Nikon D60. I said, I want to get the camera by hook or by crook (insert a cynical smiley face here), and I don’t have anything in mind where to get the money to buy my next baby but doing some product or site review and maybe affiliation soon.

I’m doomed to pursue a business until I get my US$700. Wow! I just set a goal now, I can’t believe it.

Now I want to show you this photo I took yesterday afternoon, after playing in the trampoline, yes I played with them, and I did nothing but to scream while the big girl, Miranda, doing her usual gymnastic stunt in the trampoline. It just makes me believe that I am getting older and older; I can’t do the jump as higher as the kids do anymore and my knees are now complaining (Jesus! I want to cry.)

They asked me to change into a bathing suit after the trampoline fun and go straight to the pond, but I declined. I told them I’ll just watch them because I didn’t bring any bathing suit, I’m too shy to wear one, maybe some other time.

I could be better if I’ll post as  the photographer of a real action gymnast stunt by this pretty and surprising Miranda in the dock. She’s good, I wonder why she stopped attending her gymnastic class. What’s funny here is she did a lot of stunts in the dock but scared to touch the turtle with her feet while swimming in the pond.

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I remember a friend I met online; she was 18, playful and likely to get romances online. Every time she’s not around, different guys were looking for her in the channel. She’s chatting with them and exchanging text messages with them, maybe exchanging the wobbling messages too. That, I don’t know. I was just guessing.

One day this girl text me and her messages were full of despondency. She said, she has to meet this guy from the net; they planned to watch a movie (on their first meeting). But then, this guy had to beg to be excused from the date because he had to do an important thing, that’s after he saw her. That’s awful! I want to kill the guy, especially when my friend told me that after the guy left, he sent another text message saying “I don’t like you,” he didn’t even say sorry.

If I am going to put myself in her shoes, maybe I am going to kill that guy and then myself. Not a very Romeo and Juliet story, I know.

I already told you that it’s possible for me to try online dating, but I don’t want to meet a pert like the guy above online, so I need safety measures….I need tips that I could get in Onlinedatingtips.org, it is a free guide to online dating. I hope, I won’t get lost and run into some lippy chap.

But oops! It just cross my mind to check.  I am still thinking, but it doesn’t mean I am going to hook myself to some strangers

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I have just finished reading one article in the magazine I recently bought, and it’s all about regrets, about being sorry for themselves and about living with sadness which seems like most people enjoys having it beside them while watching drama shows on their television sets.

Funny how the author have mentioned celibate/celibacy in her steps on transforming their way when people will tell the story of their past, it totally struck me. I first encounter the word celibacy in Bo Sanchez interesting editorial column in Kerygma Magazine.

His vow to celibacy. He wasn’t married yet. I am separated and he’s being adorable (I find him one through his writings) was the subject of my imagery. In my mind, I also declared my oath to celibacy.

That’s why I was so wretched when I found out a year ago that he’s married with two kids. Kidding! Lol

Seriously, it’s been 10 years, since I decided to stay single again, and it’s like, I’ve been grieving for the lost of a relationship - now, I need to explain that it is not my relationship to that person that cause my grief but the word and true meaning of the “relationship” itself – all my life.

I spent a decade of celibacy rather than celebrating my freedom, and I know it’s not good because I just nailed myself to unhappiness. I utterly missed life.

Now, how can I talk about this topic? I’m a kind of not open with this one, but I also want to digress in my usual detachment.

I don’t have a social life outside the net, so it’s impossible for me to meet new friends. I don’t go out a lot, and most guys I met online seems not interested (and so do I – it’s hard to put meaning into friendship, it will just leave you nothing but yourself in the long run)

How about Dating Services? I tried to click the ad in one of my dreary post, I didn’t know why that post generated an online dating ads. I clicked it and I joined out of curiosity, but I didn’t engage myself to its online paid services, for I still have apprehension to this kind of thing.

I know, I need to take the extra step of signing up to one of these paid for online dating services, and I am still collecting some nerves to thrust myself to strangers.

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When I was growing up, I recall our toilet was dim with the rusty floor and molded doors. The story of how we used the toilet and bathroom is ceaseless when relatives have a get together and making fun of our toilet practice is definitely the cream of the discussion.

Ours with no toilet bowl, we have to keep all past issues of newspapers and paper bags from the stores and should always be tucked in one plastic bag inside the toilet.

After the breathtaking disposal of human filth using the paper and plastic bag, tossing it like a baseball into the old river in front of our house followed.

I don’t remember if my parents had taught us how to dispose our garbage properly in those times, and I don’t remember also if some garbage truck collects our rubbish.

What I remember was everything must go to the river.

We have to fetched water from the drum located outside our house to use for bathing inside the badly lit toilet, or we pour the water in a big tub just outside the house fronting the old river and plunged ourselves in there, until the water went brown.

We moved twice, the toilet/bathroom was changed into bigger one (but only sacks cover the whole toilet). When I was in high school, we’ve got a smaller house, so what do you expect the size of our washroom was?

This experienced, has made me pipe to dream Bathroom Suites and savor my body with relaxing warm water dispensed to a large luxury bath. I always see this elegant bathroom in my employer’s room, and I can’t stop myself from imagining that I’m plunging myself in the bath while chilling out.

My fantasy about lovely bathroom doesn’t end there, I need to browse more of elegant bathroom and furniture’s, I lacked of them when growing up, but now they are just on the tip of my finger….. and dwelling in my eyes.

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Welcome to the June edition of the Philippine Blog Carnival and since our theme is about the famous and historical city of Manila, capital of the Philippines, let’s kick things off with some lyrics from a little-known, yet profound song about the city by Pinoy folk rock artist Noel Cabangon:

Sirasirang lansangan,
Hikaing mga sasakyan
Sa gabi’t araw na digmaan
Makapal na usok ang iniiwan
Mga tulay na marupok, gusaling nabubulok
Ilog na di na umaagos, puno ng basura’t alikabok
Ikaw lamang wala nang iba
Sa dibdib mo ipipikit ang mata
Tahanan ng aking kamusmusan
Maynila

Just like the song paints a mixed, contrasting picture of Manila, five Pinoy bloggers have also did the same in their own unique way. Using their blogs as a canvass, they too painted a picture of a city that is more than just a city. It’s a place where almost everything about the Philippines and Filipinos, their history, past and present collide, their stories and memories intertwined, and their future continuing to be built as each time the sun rises in the East and sets at Manila Bay in the West.

We step back into the ‘golden years’ of Manila thanks to Panaderos of A Man of My Town whom in a two-part blog series dissects two classic film documentaries about Manila back when she was crowned “Queen City of the Pacific”. In A Beautiful City Gone Forever - Manila of the 1930s (Part 1) Panaderos takes us on a virtual tour of the Manila from its famous harbors and some historic landmarks like the original site of the Bilibid Prison before it moved to its present location at Muntinlupa and Hospicio de San Jose Orphanage which “has occupied its current location at the Isla de Convalescencia right off of the Ayala Bridge in Quiapo, Manila since 1810.”

In A Beautiful City Gone Forever - Manila of the 1930s (Part 2) he again dissects another classic film documentary by a travel film producer named Andre de la Varre (1902-1989) as part of his “The Screen Traveler” series made back in 1938. It focuses on the colorful histories of more famous buildings that have made Manila’s architectural heritage splendid. He reminds us that what connects the Jones Bridge, the former Legislative and Post Office Buildings is that they were designed by legendary Filipino architect Juan Marcos de Guzman Arellano (or simply “Juan Arellano”).

Following a similar tone, this time from the experiences that built the memories of his beloved grandfather, a full-blooded Filipino, Pinay MegaMom shares stories of old Manila as a place for learning and romance and of pursuing that American dream. What’s more engaging and another historical gem, are the striking similarities of Manila and the American city of Chicago’s city plan and layout. Coincidence? It’s again rooted in our historical ties with the United States for it was a famous American city planner and architect that was responsible how Chicago and Manila is today; Daniel Burnham. All of these and more could found at Grandpa’s Manila.

Still continuing with our trip down Manila’s history, we thank Filipina Soul for giving a closer look at one of the most iconic landmarks of Manila, the “city within a city” the Fortress of Intramuros. Long before the Americans arrived and brought the industrial era of the West, the Spanish colonizers have landed three centuries earlier and shared classical Western civilization to our ancestors the walled city of Intramuros could be considered the epitome of that legacy.

All these historical treasures and legacies may have inspired the traveler in you to plan a trip to Manila in the very near future. Fret not for Chris has come up with a brilliant and comprehensive guide on what it costs to live in modern-day Manila, even including some tips on bargain-hunting and getting the most out of your buck. All of these in a neat Cost of Living Chart - Philippines (in Peso, Dollar and Euro) posted at nomad4ever.

Now that we know about the sites and landmarks of Manila and even the costs of staying in the city, knowing how to survive in this concrete jungle in the Southeast would be a must. I just don’t know if we should be thankful or not, but to wrap up this edition of the Philippine Blog Carnival; here’s Noisy noisy Man Ade Magnaye and his time-tested, ninja-proof and Chuck Norris-approved
>Metro Manila: A Survival Guide.

There you have it, “Manila, My Manila” from five Pinoy bloggers gracing this edition of the Philippine Blog Carnival. A million thanks to Filipina Soul for helping out in re-opening this project, to WordPress Philippines for the support, to Panaderos, Chris, Pinay MegaMom, again Filipina Soul and Ade Magnaye for participating and for me (of course) for hosting this round of the Philippine Blog Carnival.

See you all soon, and more, again in July for the next edition of the Philippine Blog Carnival.

——————-
Trackbacks:
http://blogcarnival.com/bc/tb_21309.html
http://rpc.technorati.com/rpc/ping
http://blog.ademagnaye.com/2008/05/16/metro-manila-a-survival-guide/trackback/

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So I think I am now settled with my current theme, especially now that I seem to hear somebody yelling at my left ear. That voices was initially yelled at my right ear, but I didn’t hear it, it’s so ironic that a right handed like me have a bad right ear, so the voice screamed at the top of his lungs right into my left ear. At first I didn’t understand the voice but after only some take in air, the word FOCUS!!! (yes, it’s with three exclamation point) was noticeably encircling my head – believe it or not, I noticed it.

My last post was June 22, I don’t see any unusual there, for I sometimes miss a week of posting, what’s not good is that I spent my very little time to change template after template (again), oh well, I don’t need to justify myself.

I recently found out that my three former colleague in the theatre org I used to be a member, one is the pioneer, met few days ago, and they actually was talking about me. I don’t know why they decided to have me at their table, have to ask them later, but what I know is that I first heard the word FOCUS with a loud bang from these people during workshops and rehearsals. They will urge you to refrain from talking nonsense with co-actors and stay focus to the reason why you’re in the workshop.

That strikes me a chord.

Now I am asking myself…Why do I blog?

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What Your Latte Says About You

You are very decadent in all aspects of your life. You never scale back, and you always live large.You can be quite silly at times, but you know when to buckle down and be serious.Intense and energetic, you aren’t completely happy unless you are bouncing off the walls.You have a healthy relationship with caffeine. You’re definitely not dependent on it.You are responsible, mature, and truly an adult. You’re occasionally playful, but you find it hard to be carefree.You are complex and philosophical, but you are never arrogant.

I got this from, She’s my own utopia, and I know she won’t mind. Just want to know if there’s similarity between us aside from not looking back to a thing we’ve left behind. Sure there is, our latte says the same thing on us also. We are both cool and I must say that I agree with what the short quiz result says about me.

Caffeine is surely my other best friend, I don’t put it in my purse though, but it is my constant companion, every day. I can have the whole morning without breakfast but not without coffee. I love the aroma. It makes me stay in front of a coffee shop and live there forever if I want to, that is if the guard or owner of the shop will allow me to.

That is silly

Sometimes I am considering of having my own coffee shop and name it after my blog, Manilenya’s Coffee Bar.

Now, that is really really silly, but why not?

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(Photo from sonystyle)

I lost my point and shoot digital camera without noticing it. It’s been months, since I have been last touched of it. It is always been my baby, and I admit I am so attached to my camera. It’s always in my bag, I can forget my purse but never my camera, wherever I go to, it is always a rule to transfer it if I want to use another bag, it is my best friend. It was my best friend.

For some, it is strange that I wasn’t disappointed losing it. I look for it everywhere and still thinking of the places where I left it but not finding it didn’t make me thwart. But I’m not apathetic; I just want a replacement, a new best friend, that is.

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My mutterings and you can see more mutterings here.

1. Purchase :: Buy
2. Squeaky clean :: Perfect
3. Blended :: Ice
4. Wednesday :: Wordless
5. Function :: Hall
6. Look down :: I will not look down on myself anymore.
7. July? :: Next month (if you’re asking when)
8. Raspberry :: Cake
9. Assertive :: Aggressive
10. Cracker :: Fire

And all the BIG ME.

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Then you tell yourself
What you want to hear
Cause you have to believe
This will be my year

I love this song. I search for the Semisonic’s album where I could see Closing Time, it was one of my favorite song, or I should say still my favorite to this day. We used to play it when we want to shake off the remaining costumers in the computer cafe I used to work.

“It’s closing time, hoist your butt from the chair and leave, come on!”

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won’t be open till your brothers or your sisters come
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

I realized that these lines really suits to our regular customers, mostly were students from the nearby schools. They were fanatics, I see them everyday in their favorite computers usually chatting until midnight.

Earlier as I was cleaning my employer’s house which is 10 times bigger than the house where I grew up, I turned on my iPod to its maximum volume. I used my employer’s daughter’s iPod dock so that my music tracks will fill the emptiness of my surroundings.

This Will Be My Year played, it sounds like 80’s to me and the tune totally draw me into the song because I love 80’s music, it made me bring back to an era where I thought that the present was forever..endless….unchanging.

But I was wrong. I need to add 1 every year end, my teacher once told me. And every year, everything’s changing.

And every year, why on earth I have not considered at least one year to be my year?

Not until I heard this song. I feel like I want this to be my National anthem. It is my year according to Chinese calendar anyway.

This will be my year

I am a rat.

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What if I buy this Ladies tank with my own design from Sonicshock, a site where you can make your own T-shirt and ask people I come across the County Road 89 to wear this and invite them to pose for me? Maybe I’ll make another shirt for guys because I don’t think they will buy the idea of them wearing ladies tank right? But if they cool enough to wear this, I guess we’re going to have a street party then. As if….

This is the big project I’ve been meaning to do in celebration of my three years of blogging which will fall on July 28.

If this will happen, I’ll get to shoot 2 birds in one stone. First my walk will be totally different from my previous walk. It’s going to be amazing.

Second, It will hone my interpersonal skills, but I need to pick my guts first to ask people, especially locals if they can do that for me. Sometimes I think it’s easy, no sweat! but most of the times I feel they will just look right through me and maybe laugh back at me. I fear rejection and humiliation of course, that’s why I am having a second thought.

But who’s going to ignore a shirt or a tank that is made of a state of the art digital printing plus a free post of their picture in my blog lol!

Let’s cheers! I am going to buy my favorite wine on Sunday to celebrate my being a Dad also to my kiddo.

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(Photo Source : Declarations and Exclusion)

My two recent reviews were rejected and if the supposed to be a paid post is rejected, the next thing to do is to follow the middle man’s rules in reviewing sites or products and resubmit the link. In my case, I don’t want to do that for I don’t want anybody infringe on my content. I have published the post already, and I think that my heart and soul is in the post including my grammatical errors.

And I feel after re-reading (a hundred times) my recent post, I can make it better if it’s wasn’t a supposed to be a paid post and if it’s written in Filipino. But I’ve done it however, so be it.

Now, here’s what I want to say:

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I told myself I need to grow up; I know I need to grow up. Being a 35 year old me and a mother of an eleven year old girl don’t prove that I’m a grown up lady.

Four years ago, my mother was wrong diagnosed by a stupid doctor of an ovarian disease, and she wants to remove my mother’s ovary or else she’ll acquire cancer of the ovary, she said. My mother was devastated with the news and all she can think of is how I am going to live without her…just in case.

But come to think of it, she really needs to think of me because I can’t even buy my own undies at that age. Oh well, I have to say this again and again just to show how dependent of me to my parents my whole life. But I am responsible; I have to tell you that.

It’s not that I never work for all my life during those days, but job was just a small stint. I did a very small business with my sister also, but having seen me in front of my computer all days after work or sometimes while working at the store made them think that I am a rotten tomato instead of rotten tomatoes must throw on me.

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I can’t copy the picture I stumble in one of my Entrecard dropping spree, but I tell you what, this picture got really makes me move my butt from endless incisive, as in looking for my new wordpress template with intense rummaging.

I am all but super obsessive on finding a new template since I don’t feel like using my former theme anymore. Sometimes I have this feeling that I don’t really like blogging that much, it is the site design that makes me goofy. I change template to template after all. And I am not contented with what I’ve downloaded.

Frankly speaking, I’ve got the nerve to say it; it reflects this whole searching of a very neat wordpress theme in my life. I get what I want (because I am working hard to get it), and yet I tend to not liking it anymore when it sits in front of me. Except that Digital SLR that I penchant, of course, I am absolutely yearning for it.

Well, Dimaks my friend, I never thought of a house and lot yet. It crossed to my mind, yeah but I think my present pathetic situation (I’m bored, alone and I want to go out today even for a cup of coffee and whining and yelling and screaming because it’s freaking hot in here, Oh yeah, why coffee? Maybe a cup of ice cream is just right) I am thinking of having my own car! Skreeeccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sigh!

All I have here is Jelly Beans. I better shut down this laptop and turn on my DVD player. I’ll ask the owner of the very nice photo I saw, if I can post it here later.

Bye bye! (Me tossing jelly beans to my mouth while exiting.)

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