I have just finished reading one article in the magazine I recently bought, and it’s all about regrets, about being sorry for themselves and about living with sadness which seems like most people enjoys having it beside them while watching drama shows on their television sets.

Funny how the author have mentioned celibate/celibacy in her steps on transforming their way when people will tell the story of their past, it totally struck me. I first encounter the word celibacy in Bo Sanchez interesting editorial column in Kerygma Magazine.

His vow to celibacy. He wasn’t married yet. I am separated and he’s being adorable (I find him one through his writings) was the subject of my imagery. In my mind, I also declared my oath to celibacy.

That’s why I was so wretched when I found out a year ago that he’s married with two kids. Kidding! Lol

Seriously, it’s been 10 years, since I decided to stay single again, and it’s like, I’ve been grieving for the lost of a relationship - now, I need to explain that it is not my relationship to that person that cause my grief but the word and true meaning of the “relationship” itself – all my life.

I spent a decade of celibacy rather than celebrating my freedom, and I know it’s not good because I just nailed myself to unhappiness. I utterly missed life.

Now, how can I talk about this topic? I’m a kind of not open with this one, but I also want to digress in my usual detachment.

I don’t have a social life outside the net, so it’s impossible for me to meet new friends. I don’t go out a lot, and most guys I met online seems not interested (and so do I – it’s hard to put meaning into friendship, it will just leave you nothing but yourself in the long run)

How about Dating Services? I tried to click the ad in one of my dreary post, I didn’t know why that post generated an online dating ads. I clicked it and I joined out of curiosity, but I didn’t engage myself to its online paid services, for I still have apprehension to this kind of thing.

I know, I need to take the extra step of signing up to one of these paid for online dating services, and I am still collecting some nerves to thrust myself to strangers.

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